i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
