I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize