I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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