just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
