Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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