remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
