i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
