Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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