I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
