Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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