YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
