You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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