Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
