I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
