Will you blow on my dice?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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