I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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