I want to have your abortion
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
