turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
