He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
me + whiskey = a bad person
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
