there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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