how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we're making bets on your personal life
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
