let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
