Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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