I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
