Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
