and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
