Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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