Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just cropdusted the office
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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