I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
