God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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