But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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