My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
