Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Everything about him screamed your future.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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