Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
