Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's shark week go big or go home
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
