Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
