she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
