K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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