id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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