No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Found your dick twin last night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
