Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize