He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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