If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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