I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize