i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize