We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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