low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
