if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
