We won't sleep together?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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