The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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