You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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