You're so nebulous sometimes
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
