are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
