Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
