I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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