Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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