So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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