He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
