Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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