k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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