FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
